There’s nothing like sitting in the really hot ampi-theatre listening to people sing on that unusually bright morning when you are there in Church. You are there, but you aren’t there mentally, you have no idea where you are. Sometimes people say I was there, but my mind was in this place, recalling a certain event, being a particular geographical location, or just being in the presence of someone, wasn’t the case.  I had no idea where my mind was kinda like the way i have no recollection of the last 4 years but i knew i was supposed to be in church, i was there alright but everything seemed unreal to me. It’s like i was watching from the outside and i was God, judging everyone. The guy who turned around and told the people behind him to keep quiet yet he himself wasn’t paying attention and yeah he was talking to the woman next to him, doubt it was his wife because another lady came with a baby and took a baby bag with her and gave him that weird look. Then next the song leader or praise leader decides that since they have visitors around, everyone should walk up to them and greet them with a smile and find out their names..the guy next to me knows my name, and the guy next to him knows my name..the people on my right and all around me don’t even bother to shake hands with me..i know what you are thinking ‘why didn’t you reach out to them?’ i did, i just felt that i had to wave my hand infront of their faces to get their attention. Oh yeah the guys next to me who knew my name..well one’s my cousin and i live with him, the other is just some butthead who reserved a seat for someone non-existant.Plus he hates my guts for I removed the bible and jacket on the seat next to my cousin and dumped them in his lap ‘bloody retard’ i muttered to  myself as he started stuttering to explain that he was keeping a seat for someone. ‘This is the Lord’s house, if they want they can go seat in the front’ besides they would be late and thus have to stand..can’t blame me, ain’t no names on these seats, coz if they were seats i wouldn’t have one.

I walked out and went to the car, couldn’t take it anymore. Sat in the car and tuned into BBC radio 4..politics, Obama and Gaza is all that’s on the radio these days..but wait last week was different, Prince Harry was in the news for using a racist word 3 years ago in a funny way. The evil sons of vipers..bloody loyal family..America should have invaded these buggers to liberate them and teach them the ways of the west..DEMOCRACY!! All they ever do is have parties and look smart..ride around in new Range Rovers and party…so anyway i’m there and car switches off, i tried to spark the ignition but all i get is a coughing sound..’Blast it’ we’re screwed i thought to  myself..then everyone comes out and I tell my cousin the car is fucked and we need to sort it out..he loses his head, gets his whole crew to fix it and guess what? They bloody can’t fix it. They break out the leads, they castigate me jokingly but their eyes say something else. I wanted to tell them ‘Let’s do this the African way..push star this car’ they laughed. I shrugged my shoulders, what do they have to fear they are African as well. It’s only after an hour of swapping batteries and cars, checking engine oil, calling up the AA to come tow the car and calling Africa to get the AA number that the old mechanic who stopped by for 5 minutes said to push start it..’the buggers’ should have done this in the first place..we pushed, the car started, they praised African technology..smiles and waves, see you next week? Yeah, definately..



  1. Ashy said,

    January 19, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Am so excited! LOL! Now to read…

  2. Ashy said,

    January 19, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Vale, que ‘ampi-theatre’? Tambien, contenta su computadora ahora trabaja.

    How do you like me now? 😀

  3. January 19, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? Nice one. 🙂

  4. The Emrys said,

    January 19, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    dude, long time. glad yo back man.

  5. petesmama said,

    January 19, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Where you been?

  6. Princess said,

    January 20, 2009 at 4:44 am

    Welcome back.

  7. tumwijuke said,

    January 20, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    I haven’t been here in a while. What an angst-filled post.

    Church is great, man. Despite all the nyahnyahnyah. I went back this Sunday after about a year and I loved it!

  8. January 23, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Welcome back Joshi. The interwebs missed u a lot.

  9. January 25, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Glad to have you back! Join you in a bit!

  10. lulu said,

    January 28, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    oh you be here, ummm lemme read

  11. Muhumuza said,

    February 6, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    the kiboko man is back! in/at church you close your eyes (in the spirit) and focus on God and so next time u’ll love it.

  12. walkonby said,

    February 16, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Nice hearing from your thoughts…

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