Slit wrists..

At times the pain is sweet, I wish I could feel it but I cannot..not that I cannot, I want to but that would mean staying in bed the whole day, listening to Kanye sing about lights that are flashing or coming home. The pain so immense it leaves paralysis running down the left side, but so sweet you really want to feel it that’s why you don’t take the pills before you sleep only to wake up finding the left butt cheek is dead, and when your butt is dead, you can’t sit on the can, you can’t walk to the can and you definately can’t bend over to brush your teeth, or wash your face of the dead cells sitting neatly in your tear glands. The only thing you can do painfully is reach for the pills on the carpet and pop some in your mouth and swallow them with that gulp of water from the bottle next to your bed..that’s if this time you don’t take the bottle to your face too hard gushing your lip and knocking the front teeth(you know they sensitive, right?). And like every morning you choke, slightly..well the pills get stuck on the upper back palette leaving that bitter taste in your mouth, you’d think after doing 100 codeines every week for 8 weeks you’d be a professional but you just end up a fucking addict, an addict to the addict to the pills(what would I do without a repeat prescription, I thank my stars for the NHS..bloody overstretched? I don’t care, all I want is my pills..that’s all!


Today was special, I took double my dose and felt i could do a triathlon, i brushed my teeth and combed my hair, dressed up and walked briskly 2 miles to a cash machine, had to credit my phone so I could text her, I kinda miss her you know? Every weekend for the how many weekends..just know it’s over 2 months, we have been texting, it is reflex, take out my phone,slide the keypad down and blindly text coz I know what I want to say, I know where the keys are and i bloody use text predict..(hey wanna know what words i have saved in my phone dictionary?..whatever some other time) yeah i even took the clothes to the dry cleaners, and was back before Tumbo could come out the shower(totally freaked him out when he came downstairs…shoulda seen the look on his face..C.L.A.S.S.I.C)


Of late, I kinda decided to be ignorant you know, read no more newspapers, didn’t watch the tv, nothing about what’s going on outside my’s been 12 hour sessions of the cartoon network channel(re-runs of looney tunes, bugs, daffy and porky totally kick butt..i don’t care what you say, or think)..and a few hours on the internet. My phone hasn’t rung in along time, ok minus Tumbo calling me from home this morning and that debt collector’s agency who are wrongly charging me over 4000£..turns out they got the wrong person..friggin arseholes, shoulda sued their asses for causing me emotional distress! Honestly I think I need some sunshine, the one here is polluted and there is this breeze that’s around you just end up wearing a sweater in the summer! No seriously, does anyone have space for a brother to crash? I don’t mind doing mukeeka or the sofa..heck i’ll cook and clean if you want..Can i come for just a few weeks, get away from all this madness?

Any Kenyans reading this? Yes,No, Maybe..well in the past I have worked for 2 my usual capacity as an Askari, and honestly they were a bunch of thieving, over workin, under paying bosses who are so rude, you feel like dipping them in blood and serving to alligators so they can grab a huge chunk of their torso, twist them snappin the spine and dragging them down to drown them before feasting on them..Sorry got a lil carried away there..yes, I’m back to working for another Kenyan and bloody hell, am i not looking forward to it, it is 12 hour night shifts, 7 days a week..the money is alright, cash in hand so it should be tax free, but guess getting half of my salary! I told you there are a bunch of thieving bumwipes!..(Baz is alright to call them pampers, or should it just be bum wipes?)..Anyway, what to do, what to do..better me than some Polish chap right? That polish guy might even bring his other cousins to work there as well for half my salary..Say does anyone want to come share the job with me? We can have fun all night long(not in that way you pervs!)..we can do finger shadows..I can do a dog, and a bird..we can tell stories all creepy ones..we can practice stand up comedy..come on..what say you? You know want to..


Has anyone seen Degstar? Really..has anyone seen him?



  1. Tandra said,

    June 25, 2008 at 7:02 pm


  2. Zack said,

    June 25, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Hmm… when you walk 4 miles (to&fro) to credit your phone in the early morning, it’s a little more than just the texting i suspect. Keep that line open!

  3. jaz said,

    June 26, 2008 at 6:14 am

    somebody is in lah-av, somebody is in lah-av…text text…
    you know your invite to crash over here still stands so fly over already!
    finger shadows and all u can do are 1,2? yiiyii?
    Deg’s been really busy lately but he’ll be back soon. watch his space.


  4. Heaven! said,

    July 1, 2008 at 6:31 am

    I read all the new posts on my way upcountry and this one worried me abit…

    but i am still smiling about the fact that you are back. Ama buy myself icecream to celebrate!!!

  5. Nina said,

    July 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    I know the front teeth are sensitive..only too well.

  6. Minty said,

    July 10, 2008 at 8:57 am

    Oh, but you should care what I think. I think cartoons are the awesomest company you can ever have. And finger shadows rock!
    Did’nt know you were unwell. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

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