what besigye shud do

Wats up wit Besigye?? Man has been in papers since like forever(like only two weeks)..last i saw him was when he was outside the court crying..CRYING!!! Retired Colonel, Doctor..i mean doctors aren’t supposed to be prone to crying..emotions..let alone as a soldier he is supposed to be a ‘hard guy’..no emotions…heartless..wama 27th..bagambe!!! Even when ur team loses the world cup..u cant cry(okay this is exceptional for most guys who love footie) but still..even when liquid nitrogen is poured down ur nuts and ur drop-kicked by the whole of the New Zealand All Black team, you cant utter a sound, let alone a whimper. Yes back to this post..Besigye should really change his whole image, fine crying showed all the females that he is as if sensitive but that wont earn him votes..wat he needs to do is

1.Change his name. It is known that all the leaders , hated or loved have had a catchy name..Bill Clinton, Fidel Castro, Yoweri Museveni, Robert Mugabe(u see where i am going with this? ok..u didnt)..I mean like Clinton he could stroll down 1600 Penn.Ave and people will be saying..’Yo Bill, wat it is bruh?’..and he’d point back with the gun and click and say..’Im aight son, wat it is?’..Yes i mean who is going to holla at Besigye if he was strolling up to club silk or Ange..’Yo Kizz(wait,scratch that sounds cool)..’Kyi Besii?’ man there is no flow to that at all..And another thing, he needs a name that will make him sound like a warrior..a soldier..k’naa mean?? something that people say will arouse all emotions at once..a name like Kaguta..i mean i dont know anyone by that name…Tinyefuza..damn if i was in the same room as a person wit that name and they introduced themselves man i wud pee in my pants..Mayombo, u cud even think there were bombs allover the place..

2.Get a new hairstyle/haircut. Now seriously if ur going to have hair..let it look neat..if u cant avoid to have it neat..cut it all off!!! Now i thought he’d maintain the army culture of u know clean shaven heads..oba crew cuts..watever they are called these days..I’d love to recommend my barber..Jamaican chap called Andre whose hair is least impressive all the times except when he conrows it..can’t understand wat he is talking about half the time he is cutting my hair..all i reply is Inn’a, Inn’a blad..he be a bad man..a rasta ma’…and the occassional ‘whagwan’ but he does a great job..except for moustaches..dude scrapped my skin but he is great..but Andre is too far so im recommending my Ugandan barber, actually two..if he is feeling loaded he shud head to that place on Jinja road..opposite nandos and ask for Medi..dude has some mad skillz!!! or if he is broke, he shud head to Kololo Brown flats and ask for Saulo..he too does a fine job

3.Needs to man up..kati those things of crying infront of people outside court…raising your fist(unless he is going to interject ‘power to the people’)..wagging fingers..shouting ur voice coarse..stuff men arent supposed to do..generally stuff that will make him look like a Daisy..forget sissy, cry baby, wuss..DAISY..should be stopped immediately!! He needs to remain calm and composed…

4.Re-enlist in the army..i know a couple of guys who quit their jobs and went back to ask for those jobs and got them..after pleading..

5.Never go back into exile..unless he is going to outside countries like America, Australia and Sudan.Those things of bursting to sijui South Africa..waaaa..thats like going to visit relas..Man we have so many forests but at the rate they are being cut down, given away to people who are supposed to have a serious dime to invest in Uganda by the way..he might as well head to Ssese Islands and organise some water invasion..how many soldiers right now can swim??


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