independence

Whagwan peoples…I’ve been chilling like a villain..my weekend was great. On Saturday there were independence celebrations for Uganda at Uganda house(don’t ask why people celebrated before the actual date) anyway the party was ok.. there was sina maganda which was too serious forget lapdances.. when the chick dances and wriggles(is that the word) her goat skinned covered behind, there is this feeling.. really cant describe it but … DAMN it was heavenly. As usual like any Ugandan event, time keeping was bad, we had to pay for the drinks but the food was free but the line was long, I just couldn’t be arsed to go get some food. I bumped into an OB from smack who I had last seen 7 years ago. He was the only guy who had a mobile fone and I had use of it on a few days. So we caught up, was still very surprised to see me, just found out he had just finished his masters at oxford university doing some water scientific something, something degree. Had a few laughs and I also met the guy from Uganda house 1 who had promised me a job.. a job which came with string attached because of my relations with a beau he wanted to acquaint himself with. He has a couple of jobs which sounded pretty good but I was still sceptical, jobs about petroleum. Didn’t buy it this time but he was good company. As usual there was the introductions at the front..Uganda house staff.. then some butthead had the idea of introducing the NRM-O executive, how they were involved, don’t ask me..all they seem to do is walk around in cheap suits with hands in the pockets, talk with horrible accents(JK can force better than them yet he has been here for less than a year) and hold discussions around them where they talk as if they have airs like people who studied at Oxford and Cambridge..ANYWAY… the atmosphere was great none the less, Diplock Segawa gave us a spesho number and he also sung the National anthem with a Luther Vandross twist,oh by the way,he was wearing a hat and a long matrix coat which is the trade mark of most kadongo kamu artists but he was entertaining enough. Now for the moment y’all been waiting for…who I met.. yes I met one J kazoora..yes the guy with a dodgy accent and a receding hairline..best of all I had a go at him.. he was starting to feel katunda on me but I showed him I drink apple juice..kati scan,I was chilling via the bar counter(no JKB and Zack,this time I wasn’t the bar man) and guess who I see..Jkazoora..he orders for a coke and hands the woman a dirty 1£ coin,he opens it and drinks like half of it in one monstrous guzzle..damn he really is some gastronomical wizard..he drinks it so fast I think I heard him belch..i had a whiff of binyebwa and mucheere coupled with kalodo a few secs later from his direction. He then proceeds to ask the woman behind the counter to give him some couvorseior(spelling..something about knowing spelling and drinking it)..i didn’t see him pay for it, but anyway the woman hands him a class and he pours it into his can of coke..okay I so made that up..anyway below is the excerpt from the convo I had with him(this is dedicated to my big bro mose and my peeps who have endured endless episodes of jam agenda)
Joshi(taps JK)..hi..im Joshua
JK…im kazoora
Joshi ..nice to meet you
JK..nice to meet u too
Joshi so..wat do u do here,
JK..im a student
Joshi(looks at his receding hairline in awe)..student?
JK(swells chest) at Manchester..
Joshi..wat are u reading?
JK..MA in telly production and management
Joshi oh re..(before I cud finish)
Jk..the only one
Joshi the only one?
JK..yes..the only one..
Joshi..that’s impossible..
JK..the only one I tell u
Joshi..only one in the Uk..
Jk(sheepishly)..no..in Uganda
Joshi…no that’s a lie..(looks him straight in the face)i know some Ugandans with the degree(at jay..that’s how u lie..don’t blink)
Jk..only one in uganda, im in the field..i know wat im saying(slight detection of American accent)
Joshi..in the field..nice,nice..where..UTV?
Jk(already exasperated that he hasn’t been recognised)..no..WBS..
Joshi..wsb?
Jk..no wbs..it’s owned by Wa..(I rudely cut him off and turned to MB)I also worked with KFM…(goes on to give an endless list)
Joshi..KFM?
Jk..yeah don’t u know KFm?
Joshi turns to MB..do u know KFm?
Mb..kfm..no I haven’t
Jk..a lil more agitated…KFM..we were shut down..blah..blah..Andrew mwenda..yada,yada(as u can see I cant be arsed to write everything he said)
MB..oh yes..Andrew mwenda was my OB in mwiri..he used to sit next to me..
JK..that day I was live on air with Muhoozi and Andrew and …(joshi immediately turns to MB and proceeds to ask about the London stock exchange and prices on the FTSE
Jk is left talking alone before he realises we aren’t talking to him anymore..Jk sips his coke and turns to watch the Diplock Segawa sing

Im stuck doing my class presentation for tomorrow..one love to all my peoples

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